E and L were in the bathroom putting on eyeliner and I was asleep on the couch. I was trying to sleep. My birthday happened in the middle of the day. I was walking or in the back of a car. They wanted to look nice. L gave me her hoodie. I put my hands in the pockets and there was some stuff in there. I kept my mouth shut.
We took the streetcar. The girls shared vodka straight from the bottle. They offered me some and I said why would I want that it smells awful. L said yeah but it makes you feel good. I didn’t think anything could. The street was loud and none of the girls wore coats. L took my hand and E led the way. Somebody pushed me. I was scared but mad too. I said who pushed me. I said who and L pulled me into the crowd. I didn’t like letting things go. I’d have died in a grocery store brawl. It was my birthday. It wasn’t my birthday but I told people it was because it always was. We went from one loud place to another and it was fine by me because I didn’t have to talk.
E stopped talking to me because I did our entire project but I couldn’t get a 90. Before we graduated she asked me to pass the stapler so I think we’re cool. I gave L her hoodie back and she put her hands in the pockets. I looked away so she didn’t have to say anything.
my favourite memory of A: she’s on the side of the road prying at her dog’s mouth. it ate something it shouldn’t have. a car pulled over and the window rolled down. her dog could have died. the driver threatened to call the cops. A walked up to the window and said fuck. fuck fuck fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I wish I’d been there.
We’re cool? Yeah we’re cool. Good I was worried you were mad at me. No we’re cool. Cool.
Lily Wang writes from Toronto. She edits Half a Grapefruit Magazine. Read her at Peach Mag, Bad Nudes, Cosmonauts Avenue, and more. @liliecup